I could...
- Hang myself with a phone cord noose, computer cord noose, ethernet cord, paper clip string noose
- Smash my head through a desktop computer screen or projector
- Stab myself in the ears with my dull scissors
- Drink all of the liquid white out in the office, granted there's enough for a fatal dose
- Remove my eyeballs, nose and ears with my staple remover
- Break the communal candy bowl and swallow the glass shards
- Eat the food (let's call it the "recession special") in the fridge that no one throws away that was left there over a year ago by people who got laid off
- Utilizing the dirty George Foreman grill in the office kitchen to grill my head, or at least sustain enough 4th degree burns so that my life is over
- Remove the flowers from my associate's vase, then drown myself in the remaining flower water
- String an entire box of 100+ count paper clips, swallow it
- Lock myself in a giant metal cabinet until air runs out
- Smash a lightbulb, resulting in either death by fire or enough shattered glass to slit some serious skin*
- Eat one/several of the whiteboard markers (this is long, slow, and painful, but will eventually do the job)*
- Staple myself to death*
- Strangulation with any number of cords--internet, conf. call phone lines, battery--all works the same*
- Asphyxiation via the bag in the trash can*
- Pouring water from my water bottle on my hand and proceeding to stick it in one of the outlets*
NOTE:I know there have to be things I could do with a rolling chair, but I can't wrap my mind around that yet - I always try to work that one out and end up with other crazy ideas from that. As of now, I'm thinking something along the lines of assisted suicide. Like having someone push me on a rolling executive chair into a wall at really high speeds repeatedly until death do us part.
this is not the time or place for illustrations but I won't rule it out.
