Should I post this to Monster.com?

OBJECTIVE:

Seeking a position in which I am underpaid and overqualified, preferably in the death field. Growing up, who didn't want to be a mortician? Also, marrying rich and becoming a trophy wife (not to be confused with “housewife,” “homemaker” or “mother”) would be awesome too!

EDUCATION:

Doctorate (that means PhD) of Judgment from Judgment University '08

Majors: the Wave, Pangaea (you know, that whole “supercontinent” theory thing)

Minors: Slow clapping, Being bitter, Sarcasm, Lazy rivers

EXPERIENCE:

Company: the Universe BC - Present

Title: God

• Creating people
• Being God, obviously
• This is pretty self explanatory, I don't know why I have to explain this to you

Company: Mattel 1965 - 1999

Title :Barbie Doll

• Doctor
• Lawyer
• Veterinarian
• Babysitter
• Sister
• Princess
• Malibu Bikini
• Bride
• Roller Skating Waitress
• Mom
• Best Friend
• Shining Role Model

Company: My Head 1988 - Present

Title: Freelance Fashion Consultant

• Silently talked to myself about the horrific outfits people chose to wear
• Thought about ways in which their outfits might be made less ugly
• Never once felt remorse or regret for said judging
• Contemplated giving some lessons on colors that should not be worn together (I.e. red & green; black, grey, brown & navy blue)
• Worked with many high profile clients and celebrities (such as Courtney Love, Donald Trump, the entire cast of Deadliest Catch)
• Did some pro bono work too

SKILLS:

• Really amazing at practically everything you could possibly imagine
• Special certification in being really good at being modest
• Awesome at observing and noting ticks, phrases and gestures that individuals over-use
• Super passive aggressive and therefore really good at leaving anonymous notes
• Recently learned how to shave the back half of my legs
• Un-jamming staplers with little-to-no blood or injuries most of the time
• Working knowledge of over-reacting and over-analyzing

INTERESTS:

• Felines
• Chamber Music
• Diamonds
• Bruises
• Buying expensive things
• Mullets, mustaches, beards and side burns (but not fu manchus)
• Prime numbers